Who’s Out There?

 I started this blog a year after my devastating accident at the urging of a friend. I began it with the purpose of sharing my thoughts and daily journey with others who either face or are wondering about how I’m doing on my Road to Recovery. Writing is therapeutic for me as well. I have been astounded by the number of people from literally across the world who have read the blog and taken a peek into our world. I say our because spinal cord injuries impact the lives of family and also close friends. They are the ones who step in to help when I cannot step. They help for the many crucial work-arounds as I call the methods to help with functions from my T-6 injury point on down that no longer operate.

Maybe you, like me, also wonder, “Who’s out there?” Well, there have been readers from all the continents except Antartica! There have been readers from 45 different countries. Those are humbling statistics. One thing that my husband and I had looked forward to in our retirement, that has been severely curtailed, was travel, especially international travel. How amazing it would be to visit each of the countries where others have read my blog. You’ve looked into my world; I’d love to visit your world.

Photo by Jimmy Chan on Pexels.com

Photo by Jimmy Chan on Pexels.com

Recently, there have been a great many view from Hong Kong. My husband and I thoroughly enjoyed a visit to Hong Kong less than ten years ago. I am intrigued by the person or people who have been reading at this time. If you have questions, want to ‘talk’ in more depth, have specific questions about other work-arounds, or need information, please contact me. If you submit a comment, I can keep it private. No one else needs to see it. I will certainly respond, again privately.

As I said many times, I have been given grace through this accident and experience. It is NOT easy; nothing about it is easy. But, I’ve been helped and supported. I’d like to help and support others.

I’ve been blessed through this experience. Watch for your blessings. Shalom, Collene

Courage and Legacy

  

Typically I would put this link (below) under the page on this blog “SCI Of Interest.” However, as I look forward to the arrival of our first grandchild, a little girl, I am thinking back on the hopes and dreams I had of being your grandma extraordinaire. A grandma who made her a quilt, traveled to her new home to help her Mommy and Daddy around the house so they could bond with you, and a grandma who would pick you up, cuddle you, and read you book after book after book so I could help you become literate and a book lover just like your parents, uncles and aunts, and grandparents. There is so much of that I will not be able to do such as sew you a quilt on which I can hand quilt the special touches which are always my favorite part of a quilt – keeping the legacy alive from my great-grandma and my grandma who sewed quilts for me that I still treasure. To sew with the two machines I have; one fairly “new” and one the antique, treddle Singer that Great-Grandma used, had converted to electric power, and on which I learned to sew in 4-H as a ten-year-old; require foot-power which I cannot provide. Yes, I could move the power foot to the table-top and use my right hand but to sew neatly enough for small quilt pieces one needs two hands to align the fabric. I cannot fly out for an extended time to help your mommy and daddy because I cannot climb the steps or provide the help around the house they would need. Fortunately, your other grandma is able to do an extraordinary job at that. I cannot pick you up out of your crib because I need one arm to keep myself upright. I would never risk dropping you. I cannot be there in person regularly to sing you lullabies or read those hundreds of nursery rhymes and stories to you. But, I can, as your daddy reminded me, do other things.

Once again, creative problem solving is essential. I have found options beyond traditional quilting. I can hold you, once you’re placed on my lap, and lovingly rub your back, talk with you, and play silly facial games. I can send you short audio tapes of me reading books so you learn my voice and are enriched by the benefits I, as a former reading specialist, understand. We can FaceTime you so you know my voice and enjoy the stories I select to share especially with you. Now, today on TV, Christopher & Dana Reeves’ son read his words to his younger self of what he learned from his parents. This reminds me that I can be there for you in very special ways – even if not it the dreamed-of, more traditional ones. You will learn about love, learning, family, responsibility, character, giving, faith, self-worth, and so much more from us, your parents, and other family members. You are loved even though you are not yet born.

https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/#inbox/FMfcgxvxBFlRDSrTRnCjvFJrvqnRpGKj

 

I Only Wish It Were Fiction

Sometimes people doubt that what they read in fiction could be true. Who would really do that? I only wish the following were not true. Unfortunately, they are.

My husband and I decided to go to the Coast Guard Festival but went the opening morning even though the real action and fun occurs weekends. Experience taught us the scarcity of parking spots for a handicapped [H] vehicle, especially one designed for vans which provide space to lower the wheelchair ramp. Obviously, any town with a Coast Guard Festival is on the water and already very popular.

We arrived and immediately went to the parking area set aside for [H] vehicles near the channel. Nope, that section was closed and instead held enough proverbial junk food trailers to keep several dentists in business. Everyone needs an “elephant ear” sugar-laden pastry at a festival, right? The alternate [H] parking area was not indicated in any way we noticed. However, we knew of out-of-the way, overflow parking tucked between the state park camping and the channel. We were delighted to find a [H] spot and it even had the slashed line section for vans. Our lucky day!

After enjoying a taste of the festival (not literally), we headed back to our van. Here is where it got interesting. A car with a [H] hangtag was parked next to our car but it was parked half in their spot and half on the slashed space. (Infraction) Luckily we were in angled parking so we hoped our lowered ramp, at this angle, could avoid their front bumper. My husband and I came around the back of our car, him holding out his fob about to push it and lower the ramp and me rolling up. Oops, in the slashed space that remained, the car occupants had set out their lawn chairs and were watching the boats going through the channel. They could have set their chairs on the sidewalk in front of their car but chose not to do that. (Rudeness) As they saw us, the woman asked if she should move. (Duh) We thanked her. Her husband stayed planted on his chair. The ramp was lowered, barely missing Mr. Rude, and I maneuvered my way back and forth so I could manage to position my chair to get up the ramp while avoiding damaging their vehicle. “You know,” I bravely and cautiously commented, “you really shouldn’t be parked on the slashed lines. That’s for ramps.” “Oh,” quipped Ms Rude, “it’s hard for my husband to park.” I bit my tongue and refrained from saying, “Well, it’s hard for us to lower the ramp without hitting your vehicle, leaving a crease in the metal, or rolling around the end of the ramp without gouging your car.” Sometimes it’s better to take the high road.

If only that were the only incident.

It takes arriving early and often driving around to find a [H] spot designed for a van. We appropriately park next to the slashed lines either straight in or backed in, dependent on which side the extra, slashed space is. Imagine our surprise and consternation to return to our van, not once but twice (!!), to find another car sandwiched between the two legally parked cars, right on top of the boldly, slashed lines! The first time we saw this we were stunned! My husband backed the car out into the drive area blocking traffic where we could, as quickly as possible, lower the ramp and get in. The second time, we were fed up and prepared. I now have the local police number programmed in my phone. I called the dispatcher to report the situation. She said a squad car would be there within 20 minutes. As promised, the car arrived in about 18 minutes; blocked traffic in the busy parking lot; prepared to write the ticket for the offending car; and said we could safely pull out, load up, and leave. Thankfully, my husband could drive. If it had been only me, even with the offending car ticketed, I would have had to wait for the offensive driver to return. On both cases, the car was so tightly parked that I can’t imagine how the driver or passenger could squeeze out. Having it towed would have been the other option. (More expensive) If the rude people had just arrived and were doing some shopping and dining over a lovely meal in this quaint mall, I would have been at their mercy. This was a repurposed, fishing cannery. It had obviously been grandfathered and had not upgraded their restrooms to ADA requirements. The stall in the mall bathroom marked ‘handicapped’ would not even allow my wheelchair to enter, let alone have the door close. Yes, I reported that to the manager of one of their restaurants. Yes, he had heard the complaint before and would pass it along -again- to the establishment management.

What can be done?

• I believe we all need to advocate for what is right.
• Don’t park in a marked handicap spot unless you have documented and current accessibility needs.
• Even if you do have a tag to hang on rear-view mirror or permanent [H] license plate, use van-marked spots ONLY if you need one or it is the only spot left.
• Call police if you see offenders. The police need to see the car incorrectly parked. A photo of the car, its license plate, and the sign are not enough.
• Never use a tag unless it was given to you by a doctor and then for only as long as it is needed. Never share it with others. It is abuse; it is illegal.
• It is illegal to misuse handicapped spots. Penalties range by state but are up to $1,250, 6 months in jail, and 50 hours of community service.

Hats off to Texas where Park Houston trains volunteers to monitor and write tickets for those who abuse handicap parking spots.http://www.houstontx.gov/parking/volunteer.htm

Count your blessings. Shalom, may all be well with you. Collene

Check out “Of Interest” Page —^ (above)

Morgan Inspiration Island, San Antonio, TX

Amy Skiing!

Amy Van Dyken Rouen (another Dutch girl & 6x Olympic Swimmer) had her devastating accident about a month after mine. I kept hearing from family and friends that, “On a recent interview, Amy Van Dyken said … just like you’ve been saying, Collene.” I tried to send her a message but couldn’t find a way to contact her at that time. A message I started to her remains on my desktop under her name. That keeps her on my mind and recently I’d begun to wonder how she’s doing. Yesterday I heard another interview of her on the Today Show. I went online just now to find that interview. First, I happened on an interview done a couple months post-injury. Watching her struggle to pull her useless  & “dead weight” legs onto the bed brought instant tears to my eyes as I flashed back to  myself in those difficult days. I quickly fine-tuned my search and brought up this link:

http://www.today.com/video/watch-amy-van-dyken-rouen-ski-for-the-first-time-since-near-fatal-accident-918601795513

As I watched Amy ski, adaptive of course, some tears continued but I realized these were tears of joy over feeling so very proud of Amy – for her determination and what she was overcoming. You will be delighted that you took a couple minutes to view her interview – seeing and hearing her joy while skiing. Listen closely to her comment on how she (read: we) meets walls. We figure out ways to go under, around, over, or break through. We somehow overcome the walls and challenges. Go Amy!

Not sure I need to add the reminder to all of us to watch for our blessings.

Shalom, Collene

Tears

Here we were on this lovely cruise. We were well fed, well taken care of, in an accessible room, relaxed, sunning, entertained, reading, … But, yet, as I read my book, I was tearing up for the second day. The book was historic fiction set near the end of the Civil War and slavery, written from the viewpoint of the slaves. I have read plenty of books about slavery, slave trade, Nazi suppression of Jews, Dutch suffering when caught for hiding the Jews, Japanese Internment camps, Native American suffering based on the US government’s broken promises and white western expansion, … lots of books about some of the worst examples of humanity. Why were the tears continuing to stream down my cheeks while reading this book, I wondered?

The slaves in this book kept supporting each other with promises from God. Promises like “his eye is on the sparrow” sustained those who were suffering. They had faith that, in the end, God would provide Glory. Eventually it dawned on me. Now that I am living in a wheelchair, I feel imprisoned in a body that no longer works. I have a small sense of what it must have felt like for slaves. In a way, I was like them with no way out of my paralysis, here through no personal choice, benefiting from the love of family who also had no ability to change my situation, … I thought I had always felt empathy for others. What I felt in the past wasn’t as real as it was now to feel the pain of others in similar groups.

Maybe the worst hurt came when I realized that a then-Presidential candidate was mocking others with handicaps like me. Not only did he think it was funny and ok to mock us (or anyone), but he did it while trying to impress and earn the support from voters who also thought it was ok. And, it wasn’t only those of us with handicaps but other groups were purposely targeted and disenfranchised.

Another realization was “in my face.” There was not one excursion off the ship in any of the six countries included on the ship itinerary that was wheelchair accessible. I was told by ship staff that one particular city we visited, of over a million people, did not have one bus in the city that was accessible. How challenging it must be for those with handicaps in such countries. It made me grateful for the many people before me who fought long and hard for the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) and Housing and Urban Development’s (HUD) Fair Housing Act (FHA). I also wondered what America some people wanted us to go back to when America was greater than it is now. Prior to ADA or prior to more fair civil rights?

I am reminded of Margaret Mead, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” I pray for America, Americans, and our leaders. Jesus ate with Samaritans and tax collectors. Our command is to love others as ourselves. Isn’t that how we work to help His will be done on earth as it is in Heaven?

Give thanks for your many blessings.

Shalom, Collene

Joy Through the Eyes of a Child: Who Just Happens to Have a Mobility Disability

 

Recently my husband and I were privileged to attend Stroll n’ Roll, a fundraiser and fun activity for Spina Bifida. Stroll n’ Roll, as I understand, was originated by two young moms who learned up close and personal what Spinal Bifida was all about. In a bit over a half dozen years, this event grew to what we witnessed and participated with. The event was moving, and I’ll share it through my impressions and recurring memories.

• Hmmm, interesting:
  • We walked into a large, banquet room filled with hundreds of people of all ages, knowing, but not visually noticing, that it involved families living with spina bifida.
  • We were in the outstanding Frederick Meijer Gardens venue and were able to enjoy the gardens, sculptures, and thousands of fall mums. The most striking sculpture was the enormous Da Vinci Horse Statue.
  • A table of red t-shirts noting “ADJUST BELIEVE OVERCOME REDEFINING SPINA BIFIDA” with the JUST BE ME lined up vertically in the center of the wearer’s chest.
  • Vendors proudly participating in the event with samples of their products but also with their families present.
  • A nurse telling me she has participated for years with her personal children because at work, she sees the children at their lowest. Here, she sees them healthy and having fun.

• So fun:
  • Boys about 2^nd to 4^th grade clad in new, red t-shirts greeting each other with huge smiles as only children can when they see another child who they may have just met or may have seen over the years.
  • Knowing one of the boys who is walking has spina bifida and an obvious friend his age in a wheelchair also with spina bifida.
  • One of the boys doing wheelies and balancing joyfully and proudly on his large, rear wheels.
  • Moments later 4 red, t-shirted boys gathered, chatting, smiling.
  • Young children with lights flashing on their wheels like one sees on some children’s shoe soles.
  • Wheelchair Michigan, proudly wearing her sash and ornate dress, rolling around the room, introducing herself for the award she had won and explaining her ambassador role. She told me she happens to have spina bifida as well but goes around the state greeting people and letting them know that life goes on for people in wheelchairs. (Example of her cutting the ribbon for a new beach access sidewalk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lO_iTiaVTI0)
  • A buzz in the room of lots of chatter, laughter, kiddos moving about the room comfortably, obviously well used to moving themselves around with their wheelchair, leg braces, or other methods.

• Most tender sight:
  • A young child of about 2 years pushing the back of his (apparently) older sister’s wheelchair down the hall.

• Signs of brighter times:
  • Sunshine breaking through the drizzle as we headed out, with my husband and I purposely holding back to watch the excited youngsters and their support groups heading out.
  • Lining up with about a hundred others to roll or stroll about the gardens with the other families and friends, unable to keep from smiling as I watched the kiddos with their flashing wheels and chairs touched with individualizing color and sensing their excitement.
  • Rolling as quickly as I could with my power assist wheels just to keep up with the scores of people who were in the line that began to stretch and thin out a bit. I recall feeling determined NOT to fall behind.
  • A group of probably 20-30 people of all ages, dressed in t-shirts proudly noting the name of the child they were there to support all gathered around and dwarfed by Da Vinci’s Horse.

• Funniest memory:
  • Hearing a voice behind me say, “keep going, we’re falling behind that old lady.” It didn’t take much checking in my peripheral vision to note my grandmother wasn’t walking with me and they just might be talking about me.
    

    

Watch for your blessing in the eyes and smiles of our little ones.

Shalom, Collene

9/11/01 ~ 15 Years and Counting

Where were you when you first heard, then watched a plane crash into one of the twin towers of the NY World Trade Center? Each of you reading this will be able to quickly bring back the place, people, surroundings, feelings, conversations, uncertainties, immediate thoughts of the safety of personal loved ones, horrific images, … and, the rest of the day as well. This is a time for each to remember personal experiences and implications – not those of mine. … … … … Vivid and poignant, aren’t they?

It is hard to think such vivid memories are from15 years ago. Aren’t there things you wish our country had done differently since then? Aren’t there things you wish our world had done differently since then? Aren’t there things you wish you had done differently since then? I do! None of that can change. We can only impact the future. The Iroquois Nation said, “In every deliberation we must consider the impact on the seventh generation…even if it requires having skin as thick as the bark of a pine.” I believe that is wise advice. In order to do that, we must study, think on, and then teach our family and share with our friends the “true north” in our lives, what we believe, what we trust, and what we value. May it be for Good and not for harm.

This morning I received a message from Cheri Lovre, the well-known and respected expert from The Crisis Management Institute, who helped me and many school leader friends deal with school crisis situations like suicide and the Amish school shooting personally, to the Columbine school shooting on a more national scale. Cheri closed her note with the following:

“I would hope for all of you that you find time for reflection on the preciousness of every moment, the treasure it is that we have for those who love us and those to love, and the opportunity for each of us to continue to strive to make a difference by bringing more than tolerance…by inspiring love in all corners of our world…or in the words of my favorite prayer, ‘to rise above the differences and distinctions which divide us…’

 “May we all bring the light of hope to those around us, most especially to the children and youth in the hallways of our schools. Never underestimate the encouragement you bring to students’ lives by your loving presence. Live is fragile. Fill it with goodness!”

Watch for your blessings – and be sure you are a blessing to those around you.

Shalom, Collene