Seven. Such a simple number and often forgotten. It’s not an even number. It’s not easily multiplied. 2s are clean and easy; 5s are easy. 10s are really easy once you can count. But, 7s! Not so much. In fact, I recall being required to memorize multiplication tables in fourth grade. Before we could go out to recess, a good way into the school year, we had to prove we had all the multiplication tables memorized. It was the 7s and 9s that really got me. I had to force myself, through using rhythm and repetition, to learn them cold. It is a prime number, but for me, that means it’s even less user-friendly and, therefore, less memorable. Biblically, it symbolizes completeness – but not for me.
Well, last spring seven years came and went with only one person, an associate from several years and locations back, who mentioned the anniversary to me. Understandably, it was a time of turmoil for my family due to disappointments, illness, death, and moves. That was perfectly fine but certainly a change from earlier years.
March 19, the day a woman, holding her cell phone and talking, hit my car rather than focusing on her driving. It changed my life and that of my family.
At first, I thought I would die soon based on that accident and the spinal cord damage it had caused. Nothing below my center-back now works. Anything that is normally controlled or done by those nerves, muscles, tendons, and even bones, can only be done by what I call work-arounds. Staff, both in the intensive care and next in the rehab hospitals, were wonderful! They first kept me alive and then taught me the work-arounds and coping mechanisms. Even those work-arounds don’t sometimes work. Those and upcropping “health issues” cause angst, concern, and loss of patience. I am fully prepared to die. In fact, there was a time I prayed for that. Assuredly, it would be more glorious and less challenging than life here. I’ve grown past praying for that, after all what would my granddaughter do without me?! But I am more than prepared for it.
A pattern I’ve noticed over my lifetime is that I tend to get involved and take on responsibility repeatedly until I am overcommitted. That begins to take its toll so I finally begin to scale back as those commitments allow. Over the last couple years, that has happened again. I guess it’s a good sign. However, there are three large, important writing projects I have not been able to even touch for more than a year. I have responsibilities and a calling to finish or address those. Those three don’t even count this blog that I’ve committed to write for and about those with Spinal Cord Injuries (SCI). This doesn’t excuse but does explain the lack of entries on my FastHugs blog.
My word for the year is ponder. As I look back over seven plus years, I realize that with time it’s as if the sharp images of the past have begun to blur and soften around the edges enabling other aspects of life to come into clearer focus. I am grateful for this evidence of the same with those I love as well. Maybe this last year and more will allow me to ponder life’s experiences and better prepare me for writing. Time has helped me conclude that I will not die of this SCI but will die with it. Thanks to all those of you who still hold us in prayers.
Watch for your blessings.
FastHugs 